_{Hello, you. I don’t suppose we’ve met- or maybe we have. I’m just your average citizen of the Earth, burdened with the pains of loneliness and ennui. Perhaps you could lend a generous hand and help me out? I’d love to get to know you. I would! And I promise you won’t be disappointed (If you’re dissatisfied, I’ll treat you to a cup of coffee.) Just don’t tell my manager.}

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